How to Start Unschooling: A Step-by-Step Guide for New Families

Are you curious about unschooling but unsure of where to start? You’re not alone. Many parents (including me!) toggle between excitement and uncertainty when they first discover this interest-led approach to education.

Whether you’re burned out from traditional homeschooling (yep, that was me too!) or questioning the structure of “brick and mortar” school (same!), this guide will help you understand how to start unschooling with confidence.

In this post, I’ll define what unschooling is (and isn’t!), how it differs from traditional homeschooling, and provide practical steps you can take to begin your unschooling journey- without the overwhelm.

What Is Unschooling and How Is It Different from Homeschooling?

Unschooling, also referred to as self-directed or interest-led learning, is a form of homeschooling, but without a specific curriculum, predetermined benchmarks, or formal lessons, unless the learner chooses that. Learners mostly pursue education through their interests, experiences, and everyday life. The parent acts more like a facilitator than a teacher, providing opportunities, resources, and guidance rather than instruction.

Unlike traditional homeschooling, which often mimics the structure of school at home (with subjects, worksheets, assignments, grades, and schedules), unschooling encourages natural, interest-led learning. It’s rooted in trust—believing that learners are capable of directing their own education in meaningful ways.

Unschooling does not necessarily follow a linear path like traditional schooling, so it can easily feel overwhelming and….well, wrong. We have been conditioned to believe that learning only happens on a specific timeline in a specific way, and even in “special learning places” such as schools. Releasing these ideas, may take some time- it certainly did for me- but the rewards are most gratifying!

Step 1: Understanding the Philosophy of Unschooling

Before you dive into unschooling, it’s important to understand the mindset behind it.

Unschooling is based on the idea that learning happens everywhere, all the time—not just in a structured classroom, with a textbook or a trained educator. We are all natural learners. When we’re free to follow our own curiosity, we dive deeply into topics, ask big questions, and retain what we learn more effectively.

🧠 Why Interest-Led Learning Works

Learners (which includes all of us) retain knowledge better when it connects to something they care about, something they find meaningful. In short: when a person is interested in a topic and wants to learn, they do learn—faster, deeper, and with joy.

⚠️ What Unschooling is NOT

Don’t fall into the trap that unschooling is un-parenting. It is not! It is also not “lazy” homeschooling. If anything, in my experience, interest-led learning requires MORE of me as the facilitator, not less.

Step 2: Deschooling Comes First

❓ What Is Deschooling?

Deschooling is the transition period where both parent and child let go of traditional school habits and expectations. It’s not just about taking a break—it’s a time to unlearn the idea that education only happens in a structured, formal way under the guidance of a teacher with a specific curriculum to fit everyone’s needs. This step is crucial not just for the student, but even more so for the parent, especially if the parent is a product of our traditional education system.

🧘 Why It’s Necessary

Deschooling allows you and your child time to decompress from the stress, comparison, and pressure of school. It gives space to rediscover interests, and it helps you shift your role from teacher to partner in learning.

It also provides the time for you as the parent (facilitator) to begin to observe what sparks your child’s curiosity and what gives them joy. This will guide you to what they are more interested in learning about.

Deschooling can also be scary. It can feel like you are wasting time and falling behind. This is not the case. You are doing the essential work to begin to enliven your child’s curiosity again.

🔍 What Deschooling May Look Like

More time spent relaxing or playing games (yes, even video games!)
More exploration of hobbies or asking questions
Less resistance to learning activities

Deschooling has no specific timeline–it can take weeks or months depending on your child’s experience with school.

Step 3: Create a Curious Learning Environment

You don’t need a classroom to unschool effectively. What you do need is a home where curiosity is nurtured.

🛠️ Simple Ways to Set Up a Learning-Rich Space:

Leave out books, puzzles, art supplies, and tools for hands-on projects. This is known as strewing in the unschooling world.
Use technology such as YouTube, documantaries or games
Include nature, free play, and field trips as part of learning

💬 How to Support Your Child’s Interests

Listen to what they talk about, what brings them joy
Ask questions, engage with them
Provide resources that support those interests, but do not force anything.

❌ Let Go of School Metrics

Grades, tests, and worksheets are not the measure of learning in an interest-led environment. Pay attention instead to:

Engagement level
Problem-solving and creativity
The ability to explain or teach back what they’ve discovered

Step 4: Trust the Process

This is often the hardest part—but also the most rewarding.

😟 Common Fears About Unschooling

Will they fall behind?
Will there be gaps in their learning?
What about math and writing?
Can they get into college?

The truth is, many unschoolers do just fine—and often thrive—academically and socially. They may learn skills in a different order or on a different timeline, but they do learn. And because it’s self-motivated and driven by their own interests, they often go deeper and stay engaged longer.

🌱 How Learning Unfolds Naturally

Children learn skills like reading, writing, and problem solving when they want to or when they have a need to. A child interested in Minecraft might learn to read better just to follow tutorials. A teen who enjoys fishing might dive deep into fish identification and habitats, motor skills and coordination, problem solving and meterology—all without a single “class.”

📚 Stories From Unschooling Families

Parents, just like myself, often share how once they relaxed and stopped forcing school-like structure, their children came alive. Some have started businesses or pursued apprenticeships in their teens. Others rediscovered joy in learning after years of forced, structured schooling in which they have little or no input.

Conclusion: Your First Steps Toward Unschooling

Unschooling doesn’t require perfection—it simply requires trust, flexibility, and a willingness to follow your child’s natural curiosity while searching out resources to help them make those “deep dives” into what they love.

✅ Start Here:

Observe your child without trying to teach
Journal what excites or frustrates them
Ask open-ended questions about their interests
Let go of needing immediate “results”

By focusing on building a relationship with your child, you can begin to see what their interests are and find ways to help them learn and grow from there.

🔗 Recommended Resources for New Unschooling Families:

Books: “Free to Learn” by Peter Gray
Podcasts: “Unschooling Mom2Mom” with Sue Patterson
Communities: Facebook groups like “Unschooling Support” or local unschooling meetups
Homeschool Laws By State: Before you start homeschooling, it is important to know you own state laws first.

For a more detailed list of resources that have helped direct our unschooling journey, please click here.

You don’t have to have it all figured out. Just take the next step—and let curiosity and learning unfold.